Sunday, July 14, 2013

Maddening Midsummer

As I write this now, my application sits unfinished, collecting all sorts of figurative dust: The dust of warped memories, of unfounded fears... I digress. Luckily, only the school list remains, and I'll submit it tomorrow; I swear, I swear. But summer is now and it shines so brightly that it hurts. It's fading fast, though; solstice has come and past with nary any notice from me. Even as long as the days are, I fear that they are excruciatingly fleeting. How will I ever endure the winter? Street style is sparse and outfit posts slightly less so.

What has summer been? Well, I keep busy spurning the future's advances; I flee within my own head. I stir up clouds of debris just to watch and wait for it to settle. I nurse new endeavors and drop them for the next great adventure. I spend a lot of time cooking. Then, I don't cook for weeks. I'm saving up for Austin and paying off my debts. I'm a guinea pig, clicking buttons, making small decisions that I always double back on. I am roasted on a stick. Sometimes, rarely, I feel quite alive, while most of the times I am just terribly exhausted. I'm a bug on a rock, all skittering exoskeleton and delicate insides. Even at this age, I don't know how to take care of myself, so busy am I reaching upwards that I have forgotten to secure a foundation. Normal, normal, normal. I'm a bundle of opposites, gearing to explode.

Michael took these of me (pretty good for his first time with the camera) in the heat of the afternoon a midst the jeers of drunk porch barbarians. Despite my inclination to resort to violence, I went and got a gyro afterwards. 

DIY Flower Crown
Vintage Blouse
Maxi skirt that I've had for at least 10 years... from Kohl's
ModCloth Flats